Status: Damaged

USB Catastrophe


Born on Saint Valentine's Day, Y2K.

There comes a time when the needs of the life support outweighs the needs of the ship. Or something like that.

After many mission on USB Annihilation, Skunk was ready to build what he considered to be the first flagship of the SCUL fleet. The criteria was that it had an integrated sonic disruption field the likes of which had yet to be heard, to handle well, and to be an intimidating force in derby.

As an evolution to Radiobag, Skunk used car stereo with a cassette deck from the junkyard. The speaker enclosures started out in tupperware containers, but shattered not too long and were replaced with stainless steel cooking pots. The radio and the warp core to power it fit into a steel box made from two old fuseboxes. This unit can completely separate for derby, thanks to some upside down dropouts and some hooks for over the handlebars.

The fork is of a novel design Skunk calls a quarafork: it has two additional smaller blades that are welded directly to the handlebars. This makes removing the stem a little tricky but since the blades are so long, they can be bent out of the way enough to spin the stem out of the way. Catastrophe has a steel Chris King headset with one inch deep cups, which is the only thing that can survive the punishment of this massive ship.

As time progressed, so did Catastrophe's accessories and war core array: Two large halogen lights near the top, two smaller halogen lights near the bottom, a car cigarette lighter - the only way to light a sparkler while in flight as far as Skunk could tell, even a water mister for the daymissions. People nicknamed that part the 'skunk spray', and would fly behind Catastrophe to benefit from the cool mist. At it's peak Catastrophe weighed 140 pounds.

Skunk put over 14,000 light years on this ship, mostly in daily commute. Over the years many failures happened: The front axle broke twice, the front dropouts sheared off during a downhill part of a snowy commute, the head tube has sheared off, and it had electrical fires so often that Rotwang gave Skunk a tiny fire-extinguisher for his birthday.

Sometime around 2001 it won best custom at the Lars Anderson transportation museum, billed as 'the world's meanest bicycle. It once rode a multi-day tour from Boston to Bangor.

Eventually the halogens made way from LEDs, the cassettes made way for an early clunky MP3pO with an upgraded laptop hard drive and firmware boot. The Alignment got worse over time and the seventy year old hull made of primitive steel became more and more prone to misalignment. Skunk gave the ship multiple warning to try and get it to behave, but over time, the love the two of them shared began to fade away. Skunk began to build a new flagship, but that's another story.

USB Catastrophe limps on, but the legacy is only stories to all but highly seasoned pilots. The Radiobox is a mere shell, the hull is in a state of repair, and the spirit lurks in the deeper corners of the hallowed fort, waiting for a resurrection that may never come.

Specifications

ClassBattleship
ConfigurationFighter
Missions265
Light Years5103.266
Thrust Rating2.119
Handling Rating2.001
Difficulty Rating8.975
Max Warp7

Construction Data

Hull MaterialSteel
Hull TypeWestern Flyer circa 1938
Chief EngineerFleet Admiral Skunk
BuilderFleet Admiral Skunk
WelderFleet Admiral Skunk
OriginCrusty
Christened on000214
LocationFort Tyler
Navi RetroDrum
Primary RetroCoaster

Missions

StardateMissionPilot
210807   Nyte Moves Wombat
210710   Two-tee Fiver Threespeed
210410   Semi-official Beta Spectacular Threespeed
161105   Life Day 2016 Civitron
161015   Disco Funkatron Tartheis
160723   Castles In The Sand Beetle Juice
160709   Red Light Hustle Dead Bride
160618   Luna Libros IV: Satellites of Love Beetle Juice
160611   Over, Under, Around, and Through Lordmcfuzz
160604   Twentieth Anniversary Fox Beetle Juice
160521   Night Market Rendezvous *TOP SEKRET Beetle Juice
160514   Do The Worm Beetle Juice
160507   Yer Mom Is So Chopped Snow
160430   Divine Comedy Beetle Juice
160423   White Hole Beetle Juice
151017   Warm Fuzzies Wombat
151003   Skunk Day '15 Threespeed
141108   Overtime: Omegamission '14 Silfr
141101   Halloweeeels '14 Silfr
141025   Winter? SCULimpics '14 Silfr
141018   Steam Release Silfr
141012   Chonk! Silfr
141011   This Mission Brought To You By The Letter 'D' Silfr
141004   Skunk Day '14: Spring Forward, Fall Back Silfr
140802   Leave It To Chance Epoxy
140726   Scrambled Egg-stravaganza Silfr
140719   Ghost Ship Silfr
140510   Rhubarb Memorial Wombat
140426   Smooth Sailing Zappa
131102   Omegamission 2013 Baggadonuts
131026   Bike-O-Ween Threespeed
131019   Pen-Penultimate Mission Count Zero
130914   Funky Mummy Stogie
130907   Back 2 SCUL DrClaw
130831   Sea Fortress Recon DrClaw
130810   Low Places, Tight Spaces, Permagrin Faces DrClaw
130727   SCULimpics 2013 DrClaw
130713   Stifie's Chooper Gang DrClaw
130706   O Bridge, Where Art Thou? Epoxy
130622   Super Mooning: The Revenge DrClaw
130608   Sea or Sugar DrClaw
130525   Double Trouble Instigator
130518   Raise A Flag DrClaw
130504   Mayday Art Overload DrClaw
130413   Pajama Party DrClaw
130406   Alpacamission '13 Bloodbath
121103   Novemberiffic Omegamission DrClaw
120922   Where Is Wombat? DrClaw
120908   Spokesfest Civilian Escort DrClaw
120721   Orange You Glad It's Pecan Day? Self Destruct
120609   SCUL Day: Can You Dig It? Wombat
120602   Wake The Dead On Planet Jupiter DrClaw
120526   I Don't Want To Grow Up Self Destruct
120519   Disco Diva Dance Party Threespeed
120512   Word To Your Mother! BaneThunderwolf
120428   Voyage to Arkham DrClaw
110514   Cold Fusion Reactor DrClaw
110507   Donatello Anybody Van Der Goes To Make A Messina Civitron
110430   Let Them Eat Cake DrClaw
110409   Repo Men DrClaw
101023   Shiny Metals Trogdor
101016   Mega Ride DrClaw
101010   HONK! Parade 2010 Wombat
101009   Skunk Day Dozer
101002   War of 100 Light Years snarly
091010   Treasure Hunt II: Electric Boogaloo Q
090711   Curse of the Crone ld50
090620   Wounded Bird Dozer
090523   Beach 'n' Heat Buckminister
090425   Space, the Final Funtier Dozer
081101   Hallowheels 2008 UglySac
080719   So Hot My Mission Name Melted pywaket
080705   Waltor Day Carnival Nosepicker
080621   Submersive Choppah Underwater League pywaket
080607   SCUL Day 2008 Dr HeadCrash
080524   Space Truckin' pywaket
080517   Bicycle Boogie Dr HeadCrash
080426   Merit Badge pywaket
080419   Don't Tell Megaseth it's MegaSeth Day pywaket
071013   This Little Piggie Cried OW!!! pywaket
070811   Who's Got Tool Bag? [Diva Day] pywaket
070623   Fresh (Pond) Air pywaket
070615   Wing It [Vomit Day 2007] Monk
070602   SCUL Day 2007 pywaket
070526   Rotwang Day pywaket
070519   Why Does It Always Radiate On My Parade? Nosepicker
070512   Bring Your Own Fun Fleet Admiral Skunk
070407   ALPHA 007 AceHole
061021   Whistle While You Twerk Nosepicker
060624   June Oh Ween Threespeed
060617   Vomit Day2006 Nosepicker
060603   SCUL Day 2006 AceHole
060527   Keep On Truckin (Rotwang Day) Threespeed
060520   Crack Day Of Awesome Nameless
060506   Alphamission 06 Rotwang
051030   Hallowheels05 Onath
051022   Penultimate Radiation Conundrum Nameless
051015   Radiation Scattering Fleet Admiral Skunk
051001   OctoberTest Onath
050924   Isla Castilia Fleet Admiral Skunk
050917   Rain Rain Go Away Onath
050910   Moose Day Celebrated Fleet Admiral Skunk
050903   Somethin or other Onath
050826   Operation Super Posi Fleet Admiral Skunk
050820   Egg Toss Fleet Admiral Skunk
050813   No NoWay Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
050806   Marsh Your Mellow Fleet Admiral Skunk
050723   Megaseth Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
050716   Post SCULimpics Fleet Admiral Skunk
050625   LowKey Fleet Admiral Skunk
050618   DiscoInferno (VomitDay 2005) Fleet Admiral Skunk
050611   Hot and Moist Fleet Admiral Skunk
050604   SCUL Day 2005 Fleet Admiral Skunk
050528   Full Metal Jackets (R0twang Day) Fleet Admiral Skunk
050521   No Plan Fleet Admiral Skunk
050514   Stoodio53 Fleet Admiral Skunk
050423   Radiation Overload Onath
050416   Mega Seth a liscous Fleet Admiral Skunk
050409   Beta Missssion 05 Fleet Admiral Skunk
050402   Aplamission 05 Fleet Admiral Skunk
041030   Hallowheels 2004 (Omegamission) Fleet Admiral Skunk
041023   Recurse The 'Verse Fleet Admiral Skunk
041016   Jump Start Fleet Admiral Skunk
041009   Skunk Day 04 Fleet Admiral Skunk
040925   Axis of Elvis Fleet Admiral Skunk
040918   Broken Pickle Nameless
040911   College Rock Fleet Admiral Skunk
040905   Southern Exposure (Century 04) Fleet Admiral Skunk
040828   Picnic Basket (Moose Day) Fleet Admiral Skunk
040821   Wet and Wild Nameless
040807   Booty Camp Fleet Admiral Skunk
040731   Tour De Nosepicker Fleet Admiral Skunk
040724   Naked Keg Party Nameless
040718   I Can't Believe It's Not Hu-man Fleet Admiral Skunk
040717   SCULimpics 2004 Fleet Admiral Skunk
040710   Chop-In Theater (Waltor Day) Fleet Admiral Skunk
040630   Voulez Vous Woohoo Fleet Admiral Skunk
040626   FireFlies Fleet Admiral Skunk
040620   LoveTrain Fleet Admiral Skunk
040612   Studio 53 Fleet Admiral Skunk
040605   SCUL Day 2004 (Abandon All Clothes) Fleet Admiral Skunk
040522   Howdy Partner (Rotwang Day) Rotwang
040515   Opertation Shoulda Turned Left At Albuquerque Fleet Admiral Skunk
040508   Derby Durby Derbie Fleet Admiral Skunk
040501   ShortAnd Sweet Fleet Admiral Skunk
040424   Oppo Oppo Fleet Admiral Skunk
040417   Stop N Chop Fleet Admiral Skunk
040410   Beta Ride Fleet Admiral Skunk
040403   Alphamission 04 Fleet Admiral Skunk
031101   Hallowheels 03 Fleet Admiral Skunk
031025   As Seen On TV Fleet Admiral Skunk
031018   Tour De Ville Fleet Admiral Skunk
031011   Pump Up The Volume Fleet Admiral Skunk
031004   Skunk Day 03 Fleet Admiral Skunk
030927   SCULimpics 2003 Fleet Admiral Skunk
030920   Arbor Mayhem Fleet Admiral Skunk
030913   Port Foint Fleet Admiral Skunk
030906   Breaking Headlines Fleet Admiral Skunk
030830   Century 03 Fleet Admiral Skunk
030823   Don't Tell Mom Nameless
030816   NoWay Day A-OK Fleet Admiral Skunk
030809   Large Melon Fleet Admiral Skunk
030806   Dash to the Cape, Dashed to the Rocks Fleet Admiral Skunk
030802   Storm The Castle Fleet Admiral Skunk
030726   Two Miles Per Hour Fleet Admiral Skunk
030718   Going Coastal Fleet Admiral Skunk
030712   Happy Fun Times Bike Club Fleet Admiral Skunk
030705   Waltor Day 2003 Fleet Admiral Skunk
030628   Take The Plunge Fleet Admiral Skunk
030621   Vomit Day 03 Fleet Admiral Skunk
030614   Double Distress Call Fleet Admiral Skunk
030607   Expect To See Dawn Fleet Admiral Skunk
030531   Double Clutchin' Diesel Drenchin' Fleet Admiral Skunk
030524   The Best Little Warehouse In Fenway Fleet Admiral Skunk
030517   Crack Day 2003 Fleet Admiral Skunk
030510   Get Outta Town Fleet Admiral Skunk
030503   Back In The Saddle Fleet Admiral Skunk
030419   MegaSeth Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
030412   SloMoBetaMission Fleet Admiral Skunk
030405   AlphaMission Fleet Admiral Skunk
021102   Hallowheels Fleet Admiral Skunk
021026   Last Dance Fleet Admiral Skunk
021012   Radiation Control Fleet Admiral Skunk
021005   Skunk Day Observed Fleet Admiral Skunk
020928   SCULimpics 2002 Fleet Admiral Skunk
020921   Massive Entropy Denial Fleet Admiral Skunk
020914   Stickem Up Fleet Admiral Skunk
020907   Hangin Tough Fleet Admiral Skunk
020831   Century Meets U-hell Fleet Admiral Skunk
020817   NoWay Day 2002 Fleet Admiral Skunk
020810   Castle Island Fleet Admiral Skunk
020804   Intergalaxative Rode Onland Return Fleet Admiral Skunk
020802   Intergalaxative Rode Onland Fleet Admiral Skunk
020727   Three Hour Tour Fleet Admiral Skunk
020720   Wharf Rat Fleet Admiral Skunk
020713   The Quickenin' Fleet Admiral Skunk
020706   Submersion Fleet Admiral Skunk
020629   Field Trip Fleet Admiral Skunk
020622   Super Lame-o Bailout Fleet Admiral Skunk
020615   Vomit Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
020608   ShouldaBeenThere Fleet Admiral Skunk
020601   SCUL Day 2002 Fleet Admiral Skunk
020525   No Mo Negi Jiggi Mojo Fleet Admiral Skunk
020518   Crack Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
020511   Shakes Rattle & Roll Fleet Admiral Skunk
020504   RoughService Fleet Admiral Skunk
020427   Derby World Fleet Admiral Skunk
020420   Fresh Pond Chat Fleet Admiral Skunk
020413   5000 Mile Mark Fleet Admiral Skunk
020406   Alphamission 02 Fleet Admiral Skunk
011006   El Cien Loco Fleet Admiral Skunk
010929   Storytime Fleet Admiral Skunk
010825   Catostrophic Failure Fleet Admiral Skunk
010819   Mission To Larz Fleet Admiral Skunk
010818   SCULimpics 2001 Games Fleet Admiral Skunk
010811   Film Noir Fleet Admiral Skunk
010804   Pancreatic Cramitore Fleet Admiral Skunk
010728   Jamaica Pain Fleet Admiral Skunk
010721   FlamingGlobe Fleet Admiral Skunk
010714   Narrow Passage Fleet Admiral Skunk
010707   WalTor Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
010701   Super Heavy Radiation Fleet Admiral Skunk
010624   Square Ride Fleet Admiral Skunk
010609   Moon Over Aborertum Fleet Admiral Skunk
010602   Mmmm... Ice Cream Fleet Admiral Skunk
010526   The Naughty MIT Policeman Taught Us A New Word Fleet Admiral Skunk
010512   Shake Yer Booty Fleet Admiral Skunk
010505   Suicide Mission Fleet Admiral Skunk
010428   Get Lost Fleet Admiral Skunk
010421   Beep Beep Beep Whooo! Fleet Admiral Skunk
010414   Constant Groovin' Fleet Admiral Skunk
010407   Aplhamission 21 Fleet Admiral Skunk
001029   Hallowheels 20 Fleet Admiral Skunk
001021   Life Day 20 Fleet Admiral Skunk
001016   Car Free Day Fleet Admiral Skunk
001014   Moon Over Arboretum Fleet Admiral Skunk
001009   SCULimpics Night Games 20 Fleet Admiral Skunk
001007   SCULimpics Day Games 2000 Fleet Admiral Skunk
001002   Warp Factor What?! Fleet Admiral Skunk
001001   Close-Up And Personal Fleet Admiral Skunk
000924   Where The Wind Blows Fleet Admiral Skunk
000909   Heavy Spacewalking Populations Fleet Admiral Skunk
000909   Cutthroat Fleet Admiral Skunk
000906   Logan Express Fleet Admiral Skunk
000903   Heavy Spacewalking Populations Fleet Admiral Skunk
000902   Constellation Hop Fleet Admiral Skunk
000819   Two Hundred Scale Miles Per Hour Fleet Admiral Skunk
000813   Good Buy Money NoWay
000812   It Was Working When We Left Fleet Admiral Skunk
000806   Mindy Milky Fleet Admiral Skunk
000722   Seige This Fleet Admiral Skunk
000720   Art Beating Fleet Admiral Skunk
000715   Slummerville Fleet Admiral Skunk
000704   Tighty Whitey Fleet Admiral Skunk
000630   Pain 7 TwistedMike
000624   Pain Fleet Admiral Skunk
000610   DBD BBQ Fleet Admiral Skunk
000604   Siege The Castle Fleet Admiral Skunk
000520   19 Pilots Fleet Admiral Skunk
000506   Nowhere Fast Fleet Admiral Skunk
000506   Wake Up The Dead Fleet Admiral Skunk
000424   Diplosplat Fleet Admiral Skunk
000423   Wet and Dense Fleet Admiral Skunk
000416   Fudley Dudley Fleet Admiral Skunk
000401   April Fools Fleet Admiral Skunk