Abandon All Hope
USB AbandonAllHope was the ship that, in many pilots' minds, started
it all. It was the first craft to become a legend in SCUL. It is the
USS Constitution of the Universal Service Battalion of SCUL. It has
survied many battles, including the great Donut Race of 1996 (the only
SCUL survivor), the Chin on the Rim race of 1997, and other noteworthy
events. The very birth of USB AAH is the birthday of SCUL itself,
which is celebrated yearly.
Its ram is of MEAT design (the first of its kind), which stands for
Monotube Extrension Adjustable Telescoping. This means the length is
adjustable.
USB AbandonAllHope is also responsible for the biggest injury of SCUL
history, Operation BluntFacialTrauma, in which ram filure occurred
after bunny hopping the ship one too many times. This caused Skunk to
suffer a broken nose, a chipped tooth, and several stiches on his
face. Skunk made a full recovery and continued his perfect attendance
the very next Saturnight.
In Earth Year 2004 the USB AbandonAllHope had its head tube completely
replaced. The old one was flared worse than Peter Brady's pants. It
currently is in the best contition it has ever been.