Status: Active

USB Abandon All Hope

USB Abandon All Hope is the oldest ship in the SCUL fleet. The very christening of this ship is celebrated as the birthday of SCUL itself.

Abandon All Hope was made in 1996 with a lot of help from people who knew what they were doing, and could do it well - all of them worked at Merlin Metalworks at the time, and Skunk still works with all of them to this day at Seven Cycles. While Skunk came up with the design, Crusty donated the ship to start with, Fuel Injector helped with the fork design, Terminator S did the machining, and Gassy D welded everything.

The ram is telescopic, from long to ridiculously long, and is adjustable with quick release seat post binders. You wouldn't think the clamping force would be enough to keep the wheel from rotating on its own, but there's not much weight on the front so it works.

This ship has had it's forked snapped off, and the head tube completely ripped off, but we keep ressurecting old Ironsides, because that's what SCUL does.


Light Years2078.5
Thrust Rating3.84
Handling Rating0.12
Difficulty Rating8.69
Max Warp1

Construction Data

Hull MaterialSteel
Hull TypeSchwinn Speedster
Chief EngineerFleet Admiral Skunk
BuilderFleet Admiral Skunk
Christened on960606
LocationFort Tyler
Navi RetroCoaster
Primary Retro


210710   Two-tee Fiver Wombat
190601   The Fog of Time: SCUL Day '19 Wombat
190511   Tribblespottin' Lordmcfuzz
180526   SCUL Day 22 Wombat
170812   Sons of Perseus Natas
170701   SCUL Day Observed Wombat
170617   Luna XII-Undecim Shepherd
170603   Night Market Garden: A Bridge Too Far Lordmcfuzz
170401   I'm Dreaming of a White Alphamission Wombat
161008   Skunk Day '16 Lordmcfuzz
160814   Dawn Patrol Lordmcfuzz
160604   Twentieth Anniversary Fox Wombat
160521   Night Market Rendezvous *TOP SEKRET Lordmcfuzz
160430   Divine Comedy DrClaw
150606   Hey Nineteen: SCUL Day 2015 Wombat
141004   Skunk Day '14: Spring Forward, Fall Back DreadFlint
140927   Catch-22 Mongoose
140816   Let's Get Physical DreadFlint
130921   Night of the Flying Maggots Giraffe
130601   Sweet Seventeen Wombat
120908   Spokesfest Civilian Escort Wombat
111008   Skunk Day Spark
110604   SCULimpics 2011 DrClaw
110430   Let Them Eat Cake Sadie Blake
110409   Repo Men Wombat
100821   Get Committed to the Asylum Shock Wave Dave
090425   Space, the Final Funtier Luna Kahuna
081011   Ba-Honk-a-donk in tha Trunk Q
080419   Don't Tell Megaseth it's MegaSeth Day Giraffe
071027   Omegamission AceHole
071020   Ah, Go Fly a Kite! Dozer
071013   This Little Piggie Cried OW!!! Turducken
061007   Skunk Day 2006 - Scorpion Bowl Agenda Secret Chief
060923   We Accidentally Terminated An Earthling Eureka
060909   Homecoming Queen Captain Underpants
060812   eXtremo™ Nameless Day, 2006 Triumphus
060805   Swing Set (Diva Day) Secret Chief
060708   Waltor Day 2006 Treehugger
060701   First of July Friend
060624   June Oh Ween Zappa
060610   Rumble In Somerville Mars
060527   Keep On Truckin (Rotwang Day) Eureka
060506   Alphamission 06 AceHole
051030   Hallowheels05 Eureka
051022   Penultimate Radiation Conundrum Eureka
050924   Isla Castilia Eureka
050917   Rain Rain Go Away Eureka
050910   Moose Day Celebrated Kaibosch
050903   Somethin or other Eureka
050826   Operation Super Posi dillweed
050820   Egg Toss Shakes
050813   No NoWay Day Onath
050730   NamelessDay: Local Defense System Mosquito
050723   Megaseth Day Kaibosch
050716   Post SCULimpics Brewer
050611   Hot and Moist Sweetums
050528   Full Metal Jackets (R0twang Day) Sweetums
050521   No Plan beezwax
050430   Nothing But Strong Kaibosch
050423   Radiation Overload Mosquito
050416   Mega Seth a liscous Phooka
050409   Beta Missssion 05 Ezekiel
050402   Aplamission 05 Rotwang
041016   Jump Start Nosepicker
041009   Skunk Day 04 Treehugger
040911   College Rock Phooka
040905   Southern Exposure (Century 04) snarly
040821   Wet and Wild Nosepicker
040814   NoWay No-Show Nosepicker
040731   Tour De Nosepicker Rotwang
040724   Naked Keg Party snarly
040717   SCULimpics 2004 Muon
040710   Chop-In Theater (Waltor Day) snarly
040703   Poisoning Pigeons In The Park? snarly
040626   FireFlies Rotwang
040619   I Dunno (vomit day) vomit
040612   Studio 53 snarly
040605   SCUL Day 2004 (Abandon All Clothes) Nameless
031004   Skunk Day 03 vomit
030927   SCULimpics 2003 pywaket
030920   Arbor Mayhem Gropo
030913   Port Foint Rotwang
030906   Breaking Headlines The Church
030809   Large Melon Rotwang
030802   Storm The Castle vomit
030726   Two Miles Per Hour vomit
030719   Inmates Run The Asylum vomit
030712   Happy Fun Times Bike Club Rotwang
030705   Waltor Day 2003 Giraffe
030628   Take The Plunge Rotwang
030621   Vomit Day 03 Rotwang
030614   Double Distress Call vomit
030607   Expect To See Dawn vomit
030524   The Best Little Warehouse In Fenway vomit
030517   Crack Day 2003 Vegetable
030510   Get Outta Town Rotwang
030503   Back In The Saddle vomit
030405   AlphaMission Rotwang
010929   Storytime Limekiller
010901   Down Mechanical Lane vomit
010825   Catostrophic Failure vomit
010811   Film Noir NoWay
010804   Pancreatic Cramitore NoWay
010714   Narrow Passage vomit
010707   WalTor Day vomit
010624   Square Ride vomit
010609   Moon Over Aborertum vomit
010602   Mmmm... Ice Cream NoWay
010512   Shake Yer Booty NoWay
010505   Suicide Mission NoWay
010421   Beep Beep Beep Whooo! Gropo
001029   Hallowheels 20 Flasher
001014   Moon Over Arboretum Flama
991102   Hallowwheels 99 Flasher
991024   Drunken Colony Attack Flasher
991017   Drunken Colony Attack Flasher
990926   Double Derby Gropo
990925   Silver Scream Fleet Admiral Skunk
990912   Merchant Mission Fleet Admiral Skunk
990911   Quadraflat Fleet Admiral Skunk
990829   Blunt Facial Trauma Fleet Admiral Skunk
990822   AquariAss Fleet Admiral Skunk
990818   Altercation Fleet Admiral Skunk
990818   Hammertime Fleet Admiral Skunk
990808   Severed Baby Head Fleet Admiral Skunk
990801   Heavy Bumbardment Fleet Admiral Skunk
990725   Short Butt Sweet Fleet Admiral Skunk
990717   NebulaHunt 2 Fleet Admiral Skunk
990713   All Nighter Fleet Admiral Skunk
990627   Hot Chrome And Blood Fleet Admiral Skunk
990627   Merchant Marine Fleet Admiral Skunk
990620   This Sucks I Can't Believe It's Taking So Long Fleet Admiral Skunk
990613   SCULimpics '99 Fleet Admiral Skunk
990613   SCULimpics '99 Flasher
990606   Dueling Dogs Fleet Admiral Skunk
990530   Knee Buster Fleet Admiral Skunk
990523   Geek Corner MeatWagon
990517   Pulled Pork Nails
990515   Too Many Maggots The Chef
990425   Three On A Match Fleet Admiral Skunk
990418   Derby Fest Fleet Admiral Skunk
990411   Robyn's Egg Fleet Admiral Skunk
990404   Fluffy Easter Bunny Fleet Admiral Skunk
981031   Hallowheels The Chef
980808   Asphalt Bounce Fleet Admiral Skunk
980807   BeerBQue Fleet Admiral Skunk
980731   Diplomacy Has Its Rewards Fleet Admiral Skunk
980725   Is Larry Back There? Fleet Admiral Skunk
980718   On With The Show Fleet Admiral Skunk
980619   Performance Fart Fleet Admiral Skunk
980417   Dilly Dally Marcus
971213   Chin On The Rim Fleet Admiral Skunk
960501   The Great Donut Race of 1996 Fleet Admiral Skunk