Night Market Garden: A Bridge Too Far
THIS JUST IN: Somerville System Pilots Return Safely from Harrowing Mission to Suspension Bridge.
Hello, I'm Frod Perfect reporting for Mass Galaxy News, here today with Punchy, one of the daring pilots of SCUL, a Somerville-based organization committed to Busting the Funk across the systems of Massachusetts and beyond. Good evening, Punchy.
PUNCHY: Good evening, Frod, and thanks for having me.
MGN: Thank you for being here. I understand that you and ten others just returned from a mission some have described as "harrowing" and "very, very dark."
P: Yes, that's right Frod. We were told that tonight's mission would take us into Deep Space with some tactical challenges for H.A.R.V. pilots in particular, but I don't think we were totally prepared for what we ended up facing out there in the wormholes.
MGN: But you all made it back in one piece I see?
P: Yeah, we had a couple pilots burn up, Snow and Sewer, but they had been planning on that from the start. The rest of us made it through the night, although not without a fair amount of spacewalking... and a little spacerunning in my case.
MGN (laughing): Sounds like quite the ordeal! How did all the ships hold up under these circumstances?
P: Overall pretty fine. We had some minor mechanicals, including a dropped propulsion transfer conduit on Abandon All Hope and some Bucket-related issues on the RadRig. But all the ships on this mission can hold up to the wear-and-tear of space travel-- though Dogi was at the ready with his new escape pods, should anything have gone wrong with his civi.
MGN: Now tell me, how do you and the other pilots keep up moral on a tough mission like this one?
P: Well it helped that our night started off nice and chill-- we made an appearance at the local Night Market and had a nice time fraternizing with the Food there. We also made a stop at a Luna 7-11 for unsavory snacks before crossing the Charles Asteroid Belt-- definitely helped ward off the Deep Space Blues. I hear our mission leader Bane Thunderwolf counted bunnies--36!-- to keep his spirits high along the way. Plus, there's always the FUNK to keep us going!
MGN: Can you give us an example of some of the tactical difficulties you and the crew faced on this mission?
P: You mean other than all the trees that were out to get us? (laughs) I guess this one moment comes to mind, we were on the return leg of the mission and entered very narrow orbit along a Hyperspace Byway high above an asteroid belt... since this was my first time piloting a H.A.R.V. I was worried about getting ejected out of orbit into the belt, so I spacechased the rest of the fleet, who maneuvered over the byway like the pros that they are! Lordmcfuzz told me later that he was thinking about how to save me from the asteroids if things took a turn for the worse, ha.
MGN: Wow, I'm impressed with how brave all you SCUL pilots seem to be!
P: One of the most important oaths we take is to strive to be the superhero version of ourselves. I think everyone on this mission really displayed their commitment to that, and I'm honored to fly by their sides.
MGN: And I'm honored to get a glimpse at the exciting life of a SCUL pilot! But I'm afraid we're out of time for now. Thanks again for speaking with me.
Punchy: Absolutely, any time.
MGN: And to all our viewers, be on the lookout for these Spacefaring Superheroes in your system next Saturnight-- who knows where the funk will take them next! For Mass Galaxy News, I'm Frod Perfect reporting. Have a great night.