Abandon All Hope
USB AbandonAllHope was the ship that, in many pilots' minds, started
it all. It was the first craft to become a legend in SCUL. It is the
USS Constitution of the Universal Service Battalion of SCUL. It has
survied many battles, including the great Donut Race of 1996 (the only
SCUL survivor), the Chin on the Rim race of 1997, and other noteworthy
events. The very birth of USB AAH is the birthday of SCUL itself,
which is celebrated yearly.

Its ram is of MEAT design (the first of its kind), which stands for
Monotube Extrension Adjustable Telescoping. This means the length is

USB AbandonAllHope is also responsible for the biggest injury of SCUL
history, Operation BluntFacialTrauma, in which ram filure occurred
after bunny hopping the ship one too many times. This caused Skunk to
suffer a broken nose, a chipped tooth, and several stiches on his
face. Skunk made a full recovery and continued his perfect attendance
the very next Saturnight.

In Earth Year 2004 the USB AbandonAllHope had its head tube completely
replaced. The old one was flared worse than Peter Brady's pants. It
currently is in the best contition it has ever been.

Construction Info

Ship Status: Active
Ship Class: Battleship
Ship Configuration: Fighter
Hull Material: Steel
Hull Type: Schwinn Speedster
Origin: Crusty
Chief Engineer: Fleet Admiral Skunk
Builder: Fleet Admiral Skunk
Welder: GassyD
Commission Date: 960606
Location: Fort Tyler
Speeds: 1
Navigational Retro: Coaster
Missions: 151
Light Years: 2065.2003


Date Mission Pilot
190601   The Fog of Time: SCUL Day '19 Wombat
190511   Tribblespottin' Lordmcfuzz
180526   SCUL Day 22 Wombat
170812   Sons of Perseus Natas
170701   SCUL Day Observed Wombat
170617   Luna XII-Undecim Shepherd
170603   Night Market Garden: A Bridge Too Far Lordmcfuzz
170401   I'm Dreaming of a White Alphamission Wombat
161008   Skunk Day '16 Lordmcfuzz
160814   Dawn Patrol Lordmcfuzz
160604   Twentieth Anniversary Fox Wombat
160521   Night Market Rendezvous *TOP SEKRET Lordmcfuzz
160430   Divine Comedy DrClaw
150606   Hey Nineteen: SCUL Day 2015 Wombat
141004   Skunk Day '14: Spring Forward, Fall Back DreadFlint
140927   Catch-22 Mongoose
140816   Let's Get Physical DreadFlint
130921   Night of the Flying Maggots Giraffe
130601   Sweet Seventeen Wombat
120908   Spokesfest Civilian Escort Wombat
111008   Skunk Day Spark
110604   SCULimpics 2011 DrClaw
110430   Let Them Eat Cake SadieBlake
110409   Repo Men Wombat
100821   Get Committed to the Asylum ShockWaveDave
090425   Space, the Final Funtier LunaKahuna
081011   Ba-Honk-a-donk in tha Trunk Q
080419   Don't Tell Megaseth it's MegaSeth Day Giraffe
071027   Omegamission AceHole
071020   Ah, Go Fly a Kite! Dozer
071013   This Little Piggie Cried OW!!! Turducken
061007   Skunk Day 2006 - Scorpion Bowl Agenda SecretChief
060923   We Accidentally Terminated An Earthling Eureka
060909   Homecoming Queen CaptainUnderpants
060812   eXtremo™ Nameless Day, 2006 Triumphus
060805   Swing Set (Diva Day) SecretChief
060708   Waltor Day 2006 Treehugger
060701   First of July Friend
060624   JuneOhWeen Zappa
060610   RumbleInSomerville Mars
060527   KeepOnTruckin(RotwangDay) Eureka
060506   Alphamission2006 AceHole
051030   Hallowheels05 Eureka
051022   Penultimate Radiation Conundrum™ Mission Eureka
050924   IslaCastilia Eureka
050917   RainRainGoAway Eureka
050910   MooseDayCelebrated Kaibosch
050903   Somethinorother Eureka
050826   Operation Super Posi dillweed
050820   EggToss Shakes
050813   No NoWay Day Onath
050730   NamelessDay: Local Defense System™ Mosquito
050723   MegasethDay Kaibosch
050716   Post SCULimpics Brewer
050611   HotandMoist Sweetums
050528   FullMetalJackets (R0twang Day) Sweetums
050521   NoPlan beezwax
050430   NothingButStrong Kaibosch
050423   Radiation Overload Mosquito
050416   MegaSethaliscous Phooka
050409   BeetaMissssion Ezekiel
050402   Aplamission2005 Rotwang
041016   JumpStart Nosepicker
041009   SkunkDay2004 Treehugger
040911   CollegeRock Phooka
040905   SouthernExposure(Century04) snarly
040821   Wet and Wild Nosepicker
040814   NoWay No-Show Nosepicker
040731   Tour De Nosepicker Rotwang
040724   Naked Keg Party snarly
040717   SCULimpics 2004 Muon
040710   Chop-In Theater (Waltor Day) snarly
040703   Poisoning Pigeons In The Park? snarly
040626   FireFlies Rotwang
040619   IDunno(vomit day) vomit
040612   Studio53 snarly
040605   SCUL Day 2004 (Abandon All Clothes) Nameless
031004   SkunkDay2003 vomit
030927   SCULimpics 2003 pywaket
030920   ArborMayhem Gropo
030913   PortFoint Rotwang
030906   BreakingHeadlines TheChurch
030809   LargeMelon Rotwang
030802   StormTheCastle vomit
030726   TwoMilesPerHour vomit
030719   InmatesRunTheAsylum vomit
030712   HappyFunTimesBikeClub Rotwang
030705   Waltor Day 2003 Giraffe
030628   TakeThePlunge Rotwang
030621   VomitDay2003 Rotwang
030614   DoubleDistressCall vomit
030607   ExpectToSeeDawn vomit
030524   TheBestLittleWarehouseInFenway vomit
030517   Crack Day 2003 Vegetable
030510   GetOuttaTown Rotwang
030503   BackInTheSaddle vomit
030405   AlphaMission Rotwang
010929   Storytime Limekiller
010901   DownMechanicalLane vomit
010825   CatostrophicFailure vomit
010811   FilmNoir NoWay
010804   PancreaticCramitore NoWay
010714   NarrowPassage vomit
010707   WalTor Day vomit
010624   SquareRide vomit
010609   MoonOverAborertum vomit
010602   Mmmm....Ice Cream... NoWay
010512   Shake Yer Booty NoWay
010505   SuicideMission NoWay
010421   BeepBeepBeepWhooo! Gropo
001029   Hallonwheels2000 Flasher
001014   MoonOverArboretum Flama
991102   HallownWheels1999 Flasher
991024   DrunkenColonyAttack Flasher
991017   DrunkenColonyAttack Flasher
990926   Double Derby Gropo
990925   SilverScream Fleet Admiral Skunk
990912   MerchantMission Fleet Admiral Skunk
990911   Quadraflat Fleet Admiral Skunk
990829   Blunt Facial Trauma Fleet Admiral Skunk
990822   AquariAss Fleet Admiral Skunk
990818   Altercation Fleet Admiral Skunk
990818   Hammertime Fleet Admiral Skunk
990808   Severed Baby Head Fleet Admiral Skunk
990801   HeavyBumbardment Fleet Admiral Skunk
990725   ShortButtSweet Fleet Admiral Skunk
990717   NebulaHunt 2 Fleet Admiral Skunk
990713   AllNighter Fleet Admiral Skunk
990627   HotChromeAndBlood Fleet Admiral Skunk
990627   MerchantMarine Fleet Admiral Skunk
990620   This Sucks I Can't Believe It's Taking So Long Fleet Admiral Skunk
990613   SCULimpics '99 Fleet Admiral Skunk
990613   SCULimpics '99 Flasher
990606   DuelingDogs Fleet Admiral Skunk
990530   KneeBuster Fleet Admiral Skunk
990523   GeekCorner MeatWagon
990517   PulledPork Nails
990515   TooManyMaggots TheChef
990425   ThreeOnAMatch Fleet Admiral Skunk
990418   Derby Fest Fleet Admiral Skunk
990411   Robyn'sEgg Fleet Admiral Skunk
990404   FluffyEasterBunny Fleet Admiral Skunk
981031   Halloweenwheels TheChef
980808   AsphaltBounce Fleet Admiral Skunk
980807   BeerBQue Fleet Admiral Skunk
980731   DiplomacyHasItsRewards Fleet Admiral Skunk
980725   "Is Larry Back There?" Fleet Admiral Skunk
980718   OnWithTheShow Fleet Admiral Skunk
980619   PerformanceFart Fleet Admiral Skunk
980417   Dilly Dally Marcus
971213   Chin On The Rim Fleet Admiral Skunk
960501   The Great Donut Race of 1996 Fleet Admiral Skunk
Class: Battleship 
Configuration: Fighter 
Thrust Rating: 3.84 
Handling Rating: 0.12 
Difficulty Rating: 8.69