I'm Dreaming of a White Alphamission
A low, gray sky hung over the deserted gantry. For as long as anyone could remember, a wicked wind had lashed the frozen plains and ruined cities of Sumer-Vil. A few nomads pitched ragged tents among the rusting control towers, without the words to remember their ancestors' flight among the stars. Today had been no different. Wintry mix coated the sinkholed streets with slush, and no one thought of anything but to huddle away from it as best they could. What is best in life? Dry feet, no more.

As the last herder straggled back to the tent, eyes narrowed against spitting sleet, something was out of place: a light gleamed blue from a junkpile. Then pink, then red...how could there be a light? They scrabbled in the sharp metal parts, exposing a corroded hatch. They pulled the lever and it creaked open, revealing a gleaming ladder leading down to -- the tribe must know of this. The word went out: better shelter at least, and a mystery of the ancients!

They had unsealed a great fortress. Its life support and control systems wakened with soft hums and beeps as the people swarmed down, arriving seemingly from nowhere to marvel and paw over the mothballed machines. The elders counseled patience: a warm cave, let us sit down and make such a story as none have heard, of a great flight we never made, and future generations will marvel at our daring! But the younglings would not, they wanted only to forget the goats and fly, and soon we all knew our purpose.

The sounds of the fort coalesced into trick-trap rhythms, and as the funk rang out primeval knowledge rose within us. Our hands flew to the toolboards, and parts leaped from the scrapyard to meet our wrenches. Ships came down from the racks and ruins and were revealed as flightworthy, or nearly so, with just a few simple changes...

It's almost time. The launch bay doors crack open, frenzied wookiees push their last upgrades, everyone knows what they must do. Radiation be blammed, we'll mount these ships and fly! Not very far this first time, but from the littlest maggot to the most weathered sage, every one of us will go to space tonight.

20 pilots strong we launched, with high morale and mostly working ships. There were hitches, the funk took some time to reach full effectiveness. Five new craft were christened and not all worked: Punchy's drivetrain had problems and Couscous' helm was revealed to be not attached to his thruster. But a break in the clouds favored us and we made our shakedown cruise through the local constellations, bringing the funk to many desolate, icebound planets. As the temperature dropped and radiation began again, we were too far into the stars to care.

Ah, the wonders of space. Swarms of immense sandworms, onrushing salt-spewing juggernauts, a bunny. Fallout drifted down to challenge the integrity of our spacesuits. A wild Pastry Queen appeared. Punchy was knighted, with our incredible cordless knightsaber and a dramatic interpretation of the oath by Danimal. Skunk's babymaggot Perilous turned in a fine flight, and the demented geometry of Lordmcfuzz' new ship bent our brains.

The next day all's changed: the daystar pours down its flood of light and life on a hopeful world, and Sumer-Vil is filled with cheeping birds and sprouting crinoids. Our gang is back, better than ever with the old wisdom and the new ways, and we're ready to fly the starlanes and bring the funk to all.

Long live the groove!

Stormclouds Slushpiles Sleet Boogie
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
AceHole Temerity 226.62   Recruit
BaneThunderwolf Bieber Fever 512.67   Aviator
couscous Glittergasm 0   Recruit
danimal Civilianshi 102.62   Recruit
Dead Bride D.B. Cooper 151.59   Recruit
DrClaw Summer 717.83   Aviator First Class
eXceSs Chutes & Ladders 367.883   Aviator
Fleet Admiral Skunk Cloudbuster 830   Aviator First Class
fstop War 299.784   Aviator
Joyride Katana 114.067   Recruit
Leotard Mjollnir 308.523   Aviator
Lordmcfuzz Onatop 231.808   Recruit
perilous Pestilence 0   Recruit
Punchy Last of Its Kind 143.596   Recruit
Red Squirrel Centvrion 183.594   Recruit
Silfr Cyclo-Crass 302.62   Aviator
Snow Deep Blue Dream 34.6384   Recruit
Taco Ez Raider 231.962   Recruit
Threespeed Saint Christopher 327.349   Aviator
Wombat Abandon All Hope 236.014   Recruit
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock Red Squirrel
Chalk Bag Punchy
Cleaner Fleet Admiral Skunk
Compressor Wrangler BaneThunderwolf
ComSat Monkey Taco
Comsat Monkey Partner 1 Threespeed
Damage Control Dead Bride
Deck Officer Silfr
Deck Officer Asst. BaneThunderwolf
Fileczar Fleet Admiral Skunk
Flat Bag Taco
Medi Bag Red Squirrel
Minister of Zoobs DrClaw
Mission Leader Fleet Admiral Skunk
Mission Pinner perilous
Mission Reporter Leotard
MRC Officer Fleet Admiral Skunk
Navigator eXceSs
Print Jockey Fleet Admiral Skunk
RadioBox A Fleet Admiral Skunk
Radiobox B Leotard
RadioBox C DrClaw
Skynet Operator (post-mission) Wombat
Stellar Cartographer eXceSs
Sticker Bag Silfr
Still Cam fstop
Tailgunner BaneThunderwolf
Tool Bag Threespeed
Wookiee Bag DrClaw
Division: MAD
Date: 04/01/2017
Status: Success 
Origin: Fort Tyler
Destination: Standard Ops
Light Years: 9.262
G-Well Activity: 1
Technical Rating: 1