Ollie Ollie Oxen Free
Forecasts of radiation ended in... no radiation. Still, pilots were
lame, even the Fleet Admiral. A few battle-hardened pilots decided to
rough it out anyway and go on a tour de lame, seeing the folks
neglecting ships and shunning the fun and excitement.

First documented evidence of lame: Fort Summer. The hardy Fleet
Admiral was seen in his busy bee costume channel surfing. For real!
While conferring on who was actually navigator and trying to get
BabyMaggot Retard up to speed the squad decided to head next over to
Fort Chateau.

While there documenting the sad unused ship, the pilots actually shed
some of their lameness and joined our jolly cavorting. The pilots had
been crafting before we approached, as Masokist put it: \"I was taking
things and unsticking things, and then sticking them to other things.\"
Hapto chopped along (after changing shoes), while Masokist pedalled
idly on a civvie. At least she was along for the ride. We toured over
to Fort Sass to observe lack of flight, then over to Fort Papparazzi,
Fort Inman, and on out to Fort Grim, over to Fort MITERS where there
was a lack of flying, but we did pick up a Nosepicker who hovered
while on a non-fleet ship.

At this point, feeling the need to do more than find people in
hibernation gear, we decided to actually do some work after touring
the Stata Center. The Stata Center was totally being lame and doing
no chopping whatsoever. What gives Stata Center? This gave us a
chance to catch up with Nosepicker and find out what he\'d been doing
that was making him lame. Apparently he was at some music show: \"They
weren\'t bad, but I couldn\'t stand it.\" We then charged into
Threespeed\'s slavestation in order to kick Skynet back into action.
We even got ships up into that action. You wish you were

From there it was time for fun. That means derby! You knew Painbunny
was along for a reason! Derby derby derby, precisely that much in the
most perfect tiny little lot. Nosepicker, Painbunny, and Masokist all
won derbies. Yay them.

Since pilots were all into showing off, it was time to practice some
moves, and several passes in various formations were performed with
precise precision, even while taking starboard and port turns.
Favorites were the square, which was done several times, and \"Incoming

Now that maneuvering technique was refined, it was time to get back to
surveying more ships throughout the system. Fort Eustice was next on
the map, where we were greeted by groggy pilots and took pictures of
the ships. Next we also visited Castle Underpants and totally
documented the lameness as she\'s way too far away and way too missed!

Still, we were able to dry our tears as we got our groove on with
civilians dancing at the filling station on Beacon. With a
challenging charge up Gussie, we made a circuitous swing to Fort
Berkeley where we left Masokist to lame-ly retire. From there we
swung up to survey Fort Belmont where lameness overloaded our short-
range sensors. After that, there was nothing left to do but return to
base for sensor recalibration and posting of mocking tales to SkyNet.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
eHawk Devastation 729.934   Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Hapto Basquiat 113.4   Commander
Leotard Sloth 0   Recruit
PainBunny Pale Horse 336.844   Petty Officer 2nd Class
SecretChief Famine 411.874   Petty Officer 1st Class
Threespeed Summer 401.148   Lieutenant Commander
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock eHawk
Damage Control Threespeed
Deck Officer Fleet Admiral Skunk
Medi Bag SecretChief
Mission Leader SecretChief
Navigator Threespeed
Skynet Operator (post-mission) eHawk
Still Cam eHawk
Tailgunner PainBunny
Tool Bag SecretChief
Division: MAD
Date: 04/28/2007
Status: Success 
Origin: Fort Summer
Destination: land o lame
Light Years: 9.46
G-Well Activity: 3.1
Technical Rating: 1.6