Safety Dance
Hurrah, it's Leotard Day! And the mission is SAFETY.

Pilots are invited to demonstrate fashion-forward hazard mitigation gear, along with safe spaceflight and shore leave techniques. Proper HARV operation including coupling formation, unconventional flight postures, balancing of pilots and/or ships on Earth objects, and other safe maneuvers are encouraged. What a good time to try your first flight on a more challenging ship!

We did. Lashings of acid green, hi-viz orange and eye-punching reflective graced the fleet, as well as many laseriffic ships. With Stogie navigating we went by way of the usual constellations to a strange playground in JP designed as a Habitrail for Earth humans, and populated the heck out of it. There was a chopper-powered angular momentum generator, fully justifying the "Nonstandard Spacetime" label that began this mission's bulletin. And a zipline. Hello, zipline!

Food was highly appreciative, whistling and honking like crazy, and a close ST encounter at a 7-11 went favorably.
Acehole reports:
"I'm kinda drunk right now so I don't know if you guys are real."
"I didn't get the memo! Let me know next time."
Sprocket reports:
"If it was up to me you would all be shot."
Heard by many:
"Look, it's the Gay Bike Parade!"
And Tyrian reports:
"Check it out, spring is back!"

This mission fails if any medal of injury is or should be awarded. With great safety comes great risks.

We failed: Zappa shed blood. On the other hand he suggested a visit to a bench designed for beings of a type never yet seen on this planet, so he finishes the mission not without honour. (An explanatory plaque explained nothing.)

This tard reports an anomalous event: at Harvard Constellation a skateboard shot into the spacelane, passing before Trinity's primary thruster so that I flew directly over it, briefly operating a 5-wheeled vehicle with 4 wheels orthogonal to the direction of travel. Against all expectation, I stayed up.

Kudos to XXIII for climbing on top of every object we encountered. To Dreadflint and eXceSs for performing HARV coupling with brio and success. To Dr Claw for bringing groove and everyone (but especially Vomit and Snow) for bringing chic to safety. To navtail for creative and expeditious navigation, and keeping it together on a large and eventful mission. Sprocket and Mongoose for swapping ships at the right time, and Tyrian for rocking brand new HARV Iridium. Gosh! I wanna list everybody. Thank you all you guys. Every mission idea is stupid, until you make it happen.

Medal of strength to SevenOfNine for persisting in the face of injury, Valour to Dreadflint, eXceSs and Leotard for coupling in public, Chic to Vomit, and Injury to Zappa. Woop woop!
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
AceHole Temerity 206.357   Recruit
BadCat Lust 0  
BaneThunderwolf Bieber Fever 493.661   Chief Petty Officer
Brainstorm CivilianShip2 41.2714   Recruit
Dead Bride Dr. Love 0   Recruit
DrClaw Shockwave 1137.54   Senior Chief Petty Officer
DreadFlint Compliance 323.567   Petty Officer 3rd Class
Epoxy Yer Mom 206.357   Recruit
eXceSs Chutes & Ladders 419.266   Aviator First Class
Leotard Trinity 602.223   Petty Officer 2nd Class
metoikos CivilianShip3 359.271   Aviator
Mongoose Mjollnir 0  
Runt Anger 0  
SevenOfNine Swamp Thing 687.69   Petty Officer 2nd Class
Sidekick Greed 409.837   Aviator First Class
Snow Ez Raider 0  
Sprocket Trez Bonz 145.13   Aviator First Class
Stogie Wingnut 352.536   Petty Officer 2nd Class
Threespeed BurningChrome 236.34  
Tyrian Iridium 301.986  
vomit JanBrady 466.922   Aviator First Class
Wombat Moneypenny 515.696   Petty Officer 2nd Class
XXIII D.B. Cooper 204.909   Aviator
Zappa Curb Burner 199.535  
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock eXceSs
Chalk Bag Dead Bride
ComSat Monkey vomit
Damage Control Wombat
Deck Officer metoikos
Deck Officer Asst. metoikos
Flat Bag Sidekick
Medi Bag BadCat
Minister of Zoobs DrClaw
Mission Leader Leotard
MRC Officer DrClaw
Navigator Stogie
RadioBox A DrClaw
Radiobox B Leotard
RadioBox C Tyrian
Sticker Bag XXIII
Still Cam Snow
Tailgunner BaneThunderwolf
Tool Bag Tyrian
Wookiee Bag Threespeed
Division: MAD
Date: 05/03/2014
Status: Failure 
Origin: Fort Tyler
Destination: Prudence!
Light Years: 18.3182
G-Well Activity: 2.63
Technical Rating: 2.005