Status: Success

Operation

Poseidon's Pimple

Strong thunderstorms continue to impact the eastern states. Find out which areas may see damaging winds and hail this evening.

It was raining. It is always raining on Enceladus.

We showed up to MRC, some with enthusiasm and others with foreboding. The base plan was to attend evening festivities at Earth festival Figment in Boston System, but before our proposed early launch we were informed that Figment was made of sugar and had disappeared.

Fleet Admiral Skunk declared against, but those of us with too much SCUL in our blood to quit decided that waiting wouldn't help, and grimly prepared to patrol the constellations. At the last moment (as is now customary) a heap of enthusiastic pilots showed up and we were too soft-hearted to turn them away.

We launched in persistent midlevel radiation, in gear ranging from full impermasuits to diaphanous, revealing t-shirts. Earth's radar glowed solid green. FAdm Skunk accompanied us, under duress and on a tiny ship, while Wombat hauled Cloudbuster for the good of the groove.

Executing the original mission plan despite it having become completely futile, we determined to buzz the site of the now-defunct Figment. But as we crossed into Boston system a cataclysmic explosion announced a near-fatal sidewall blowout. A needle and thread were procured from unlikely orifices, and after many, many minutes of valiant, unthimbled sewing by Vomit we were able to proceed. Dermal radiation conditions ranged from damp to soaking, spaceworn joints began to creak, and morale dropped with the temperature.

We arrived at one end of Figment. A few miserable natives crouched, wetly, with their digging sticks under a skin canopy, surrounded by totemic images of Earth wildlife. They seemed happy to see us; a short pause later we decamped for the other end of Figment. There the dome-dwelling natives seemed more advanced, and pilot Buckminister joined us. Things were looking up: radiation had stealthily tailed off and all were warmer and dryer.

Suddenly, geysers erupted. We had reached Enceladus! Random spurts of subsurface fluid burst from the ground in clouds of hot mist, and SCUL was irresistibly drawn to fly and dance among them. Oh, it was good. The squirting! The rising! The falling! All were moved; most were wet. Vomit, YT and Bane Thunderwolf gave themselves entirely to the gushing liquid ecstasy. Tears of joy rolled down our cheeks, I hardly know what ran down our thighs.

Sated, refreshed, mission accomplished, at peace with all the radiation in the universe, we wound our way back to base.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
BaneThunderwolf Skylab 446.411   Rear Admiral, Upper Half
beezwax Chastity 288.808   Senior Chief Petty Officer
bt Rhinoceros 0   Pilot
Buckminister Immaculate Taco 203.982   Lieutenant Commander
DrClaw Mad Rabbit 589.551  
Fleet Admiral Skunk Pestilence 472.23  
hackworth Roll Bounce 954.626  
Kpafun Civilian Ship 84.038   Lieutenant Junior Grade
Leotard Trinity 778.079  
metoikos Mjollnir 611.29   Captain
Stogie Wadlow 510.256  
vomit Famine 752.685  
Wombat Cloudbuster 362.828  
yt All Look Same 1114.11   Admiral
Taskforce Pilot
Mission Leader hackworth
Deck Officer metoikos
Gate Attendant metoikos
MRC Officer Fleet Admiral Skunk
Navigator DrClaw
Tailgunner yt
Com-Sat 1 vomit
Tool Bag BaneThunderwolf
Flat Bag DrClaw
Medi Bag bt
Wookiee Bag Leotard
Ambassador Kpafun
Still Cam Stogie
Airlock Leotard
Life Support 1 Leotard
Damage Control BaneThunderwolf
Minister of Zoobs DrClaw
Mission Reporter Leotard
Cleaner yt
Filmer hackworth
Food Wrangler metoikos

Mission Parameters

DivisionMAD
Date2012.07.28
Mission Leaderhackworth
Mission Size 14 pilots
OriginFort Tyler
Destinationa figment of our imagination
Light Years15.449
G-Well Activity0.826
Technical Rating2.314