"Anything but typical" are the best three words to describe this campaign. The mission was normal for the first 1/4 light year, then USB Triple Nipple, piloted by Waltor from Galaxy ME, blew his rear tire - the Thruster casing failure for any official SCUL mission. Some of the other pilots reported seeing a "holy light" emitting from the tire as it blew. Scientits write this off as ignited plasma, you can draw your own conclusions. Furter tests to study this phenomenon proved inconclusive.
The fleet came to a screeching halt. Tests were performed to see if it was possible to ride on the rim. Unfortunately the crank to ground interface ratio was critically comprimised. A rescue mission had to be executed quickly in order for the mission to continue. Skunk grabbed the fastest chopper in the fleet, USB FunStyle, and raced back to base to find another 26" wheel. He returned in moments with USB Chain Saw Bike, and FunStyle in the Hanger (over the shoulder). We removed the rear wheel of Chain Saw Bike, placed it on the Triple Nipple, and locked the leftover parts to a fence. The mission was resumed.
No further than a light year later, the fleet suffered more damage. While a civilain who was tavelling along with us was attempting to make repairs on his "crazy fixed gear", the troops decided to make the most of the idle moment. GassyD started to employ the battering ram on USB War, hitting trees and telephone poles. Unfortunately no one told him of the ejection method used for heavy ramming. The result was undesirable to say the least. GassyD's crotch ached for the remainder of the mission, and had more light years to log on the banana seat cockpit. The civilain's propulsion unit was no closer to repair either, so we decided to tow. USB Chrome Pony to the rescue. Sam also relied on emergency backup thrusters and local g-well activity.
We finally reached IHOP. After a brief layover we were shuttled to our fuel hanger. We then consumed mass quantities of Fuel (especially CrazySkip), and dumped Waste (especially GassyD). The civilain managed to make field repairs to his craft with a standard issue Hunk of Ugly Concrete Knob (H.U.C.K).
We continued on to the parking garage for battle. The USB Chrome Pony was the center of
attention, and several tests were performed, including overloading the hull with three pilots, and some alternate seating patterns. Just as USB War was about to test the Pilotless Ramming Auto Navigation Kamikaze (P.R.A.N.K.) maneuver, STs arrived and told us to leave. We returned to base without incident.
Back at Fort Francis we discovered USB TripleNipple suffered more damage than originally noticed. The hull'a mast was buckled below the captain's mast. The front end is salvageable and easily transferred, but the hull is considered structurally unsound and was sent to the scrap heap.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Crack Funstyle 36.3537   Petty Officer 2nd Class
Fleet Admiral Skunk Sky King 96.9118  
GassyD War 50.9644   Aviator
PitGirl Chrome Pony (Bombardier) 70.2228   Petty Officer 3rd Class
TerminatorS Chrome Pony 73.9233  
waltor Reverse Trike 66.4092   Aviator
Mission Task Pilot
Division: MAD
Date: 05/15/1998
Origin: Fort Francis
Destination: Luna IHOP
Light Years: 4.5
G-Well Activity: 1.0417
Technical Rating: 1.833