Something in the Water

Mission Summary

A hardy squadron of pilots assembled at Fort Antwerp in anticipation of a mid-range sortie to SCUL’s #2 destination, Deer Island. Our task: find the source of the recent infestation of cyanobacteria affecting nebulae across the Massachusetts Galaxy and foiling our attempts at a swimming mission. One by one, pilots appeared, including maggot YoMomma, enthusiastic to rejoin the fleet for an adventure. Coincidentally, her first and only mission had also been to Deer Island, some 6 years prior. Many a pilot reminisced about past escapades to this mysterious peninsula, sharing stories of both triumph and suffering.

In a nebulous haze where starlight gleams,
A squadron set on daring dreams.
To Deer Island's foul embrace they flew.

Our stalwart navigator Lord McFuzz took the helm and steered us up, down, and around along a puzzlingly indirect route through unfamiliar territories. Pilots carefully aimed their starships through an occasionally hostile environment, navigating carefully around pockets of unstable gases and orbital debris. The fleet eventually alighted at a Luna 7-11 to refuel and gather for a brief shore leave. The next several light years were characterized by Haptonic turns and unexpected negi g-wells, testing the battle-hardiness of the fleet.

Each twist and turn, the ships advance,
In starlit waltz, a cosmic dance,
The fetid ovoids to pursue.

The squadron finally descended onto the marvelously malodorous peninsula of Deer Island, where the atmosphere was tainted with a distinct and overpowering aroma. The area was bathed in gentle sea breezes, mingling with unsettling notes of sewage. The moon glowed softly through a hazy brown cloud, resembling a fecal plume. During an apropos fuel dump stop adjacent to the magnificently massive sewage digesters, a member of the Poop Patrol hurriedly pulled up in a transport on the other side of the fence. He shouted something indistinct, and pilots were sure he was telling us to get lost - in fact, he was happy to see the fleet and had encountered SCUL previously in the Jamaica Plain system.

After one brief wrong turn up another negi g-well, Wombat immediately noticed something was amiss when he observed that at least one of the compound’s gargantuan wind turbines was missing. This prompted hushed speculation among other pilots. Between the proliferation of cyanobacteria and the dismantling of the fortress’s supplemental power systems, a subtle shift was in the air at Deer Island - all was not well. Nevertheless, Lord McFuzz successfully rallied the fleet to the southern tip of the peninsula, where pilots shared assorted snacks and indulged in Snow's various potent potables.

O'er pungent shores, the fleet doth stand,
Orbiting this mystic land,
Unraveling the island’s clues.

Presently, the pilots were called to order and Dead Bride knighted Peach with a thematically-appropriate plunger after many reassurances that the implement had never touched any part of a toilet. Cheered by the ceremony and fortified by the feast of snax, the fleet made ready for the return journey. The back end of this adventure was punctuated by a few additional negi g-wells and a stop at a wormhole padlocked with chains, just in time for Moewnderthal to suffer a plasma casing failure on Barbie Schmurda. Repairs were made while other pilots debated whether to attempt to traverse this forbidden passage. The fleet re-routed and continued through the Everett System across to the Sullivan Black hole, where Meownderthal was betrayed by yet another plasma failure, which lengthened the return time. A few pilots lay down, a few pilots had burned up, but morale was still high, bolstered by continuous distribution of snax.

Once the fleet was finally back on track, they zipped back to the landing pad and spent a short time continuing to debate the origins of the mysterious bacterial bloom. Dr Claw was insistent that it had something to do with a boogey (perhaps confusing two very different types of solid waste). In the end, Bane Thunderwolf earned a bonus of 75 points for the most creative explanation of the source of the bacteria, and Grog was bestowed with a medal of valor in absentia for rescuing YoMomma’s dropped wallet.

In nebula's depths where mysteries hide,
Bacteria blooms on cosmic tides,
It all began with a boogie or two.