Quest For Dark Matter
Now, if you were a diabolical genius hiding the dark matter, where would you put it? In very large and remote containment vessels, so it won't interact with normal matter or food. And then? To keep people from investigating, you'd tell everyone it was poop.
On a lovely clear Saturnite, the scientific probe for dark matter on Deer Island was only able to enlist a small crew of six pilots. There were some *cough Lordmcfuzz* that doubted the success of such a small squadron on such a challenging and perilous mission. Four pilots and two overripe maggots? Could it be done?
Opting for a quiet relaxing night in at the Fort, Skunk, Red Squirrel, Lordmcfuzz saw us off on the launchpad, but did not join our dark matter expedition.
One objective of the mission was to do a field survey of the apparently New and Improved Planet Beacham spacelanes. After flying through the Beacham spacelanes, the crew agreed that even though the spacelanes were vastly improved, they are still decidedly incomplete.
The team chose to stop for Dark Snax near the end of Planet Beacham at a Luna Dunkin.
The voyage to the eggs of Deer Island was smooth and devoid of mechanicals. As they landed on the Island, the pilots' nostrils were assailed with the strong stench of CBU manure. Or was it the reek of overripe maggots?
The team still had yet to encounter any dark matter!
Fortunately, upon arrival at Deer Island, Dr. Claw discovered dark matter cleverly hidden in a TARDIS. For the sake of our field research, Dr Claw valiantly sampled some tasty dark nuggets!
It was a perfect night for a recon of the island. The squad enjoyed the beautiful sounds of the space lice chirping in the branches and the heavy nebulae waves crashing on the shore. As they orbitted the island, the crew encountered hundreds of startled CBUs. The CBUs were all taking advantage of the beautiful weather to deploy their piscine detection devices. Despite the hundreds of devices being deployed, there were no space fish in evidence. The recon team found this incredibly suspicious and wondered at the true nature of the gathering of so many CBUs so late at night in such a remote location.
After orbiting halfway around the island, the team decided to land and fuel up on dark chocolate, string theory cheese. and Guinness molecules. The crew turned off all lasers to enjoy the glorious stars overhead. NOVA revealed that her orbital was that evening.
After enjoying their fuel, the pilots decided it was high time NOVA was knighted.
As the Magenta rays of the Knightsaber fell on NOVA, she became filled to capacity with the FUNK! She started glowing with funkaliciousness until she could no longer contain the FUNK! NOVA went critical and became a SUPERNOVA!
The power of the Supernova explosion caused hundreds of sparklers to ignite! The pilots all had 8 sparklers to each hand. The crew danced with the sparklers and laughed manically in the light of the glowing Supernova.
Fortunately, luck was with the platoon as the sparklers all went out safely without setting the island alight. Luck was strong indeed that night as with the amount of methane in the air from the eggs, the sparklers could easily have blazed out of control.
As the last sparkler fizzled out, the crew returned to their ships and finished their orbit of Deer Island, waving a found farewell to the glowing eggs.
On the return journey, the fleet was forced to stop when Everest's cries of pain from Bananarama became too plaintive. It appeared that Bane Thunderwolf, that old card, had installed a cockpit in Darkendark that was so excruciating to ride that only his Thunderous rear could tame it. Having flown Darkendank last mission, Tard's titanium enforced heart softened at Everest's cries of distress. Tard valiantly swapped pants with Everest, thus earning a Medal of Valor for returning home in the Wrong Trousers.
After trading pants, Tard led the fleet in a practice drill of the SCUL march and then flew on.
The small unit of six pilots had cohered at this point into a honed and polished machine. Tard decided to test this by calling the fleet into a wedge formation which they successfully maneuvered.
At 0300 hours, the fleet passed the Luna Encore. Even at that late hour, many Players of Games were still patronizing the Luna in hopes of trying their luck at winning mountains of grumbahs. The flight paths in front of the Luna Encore were completely clogged with transports. Hordes of STs thronged the space outside the Luna doing their best imitation of Buckingham Palace guards, but we caught one of them taking video with his protocol droid.
As we neared the Fort, Trinity's droid lost its mind. Trinity's lasers fritzed out to a rainbow strobe rave, then stuck on full white, then popped its breakers.
The fleet returned to the Fort with quiet jubilation. The mission was a great success despite those space hardened pilots who had thought to the contrary. It was unanimously agreed that young maggot Ziqqurat shows great promise and that we must knight this overripe cadet, stat.
Subsequent to this mission, the cockpit of Darkendank was deemed a menace to galactic society and placed in the garbage compactor with prejudice.