There Will Be Fireworks
The night began very strangely. I, Everest was doing work in the SCUL lab when all of a sudden, I heard a loud crash. Strange hummings and whistling followed so I knew it must be a UFO. I was so glad that the aliens had chosen me as the first person to contact. Somehow, I always knew it would be me. A strange creature emerged from the smoke wearing a straw hat. All he said was the word “INPUT!” over and over again. After a few hours of giving him all the input about SCUL I could, I deduced that he was not an alien at all but a robot. He kept telling me that his name was Johnny Five and he was alive.
Activity levels in the fort were slow at first but around 2100, pilots began arriving at the fort. Launch was much later than usual as the fearsome nine did their utmost to ensure all jobs were taken.
After an excellent launch, the fleet had traveled several light years whereupon they spotted a blockade of civilians floating ahead. These cavalier punks would halt the funk. They had power coupled arm and arm across the flight path and did not seem like they would surrender. The Admiral bravely lead the charge through the blockade and the civilians burst apart unable to resist the Power of the FUNK.
The flight was relatively quiet until little by little, Snow and the front of the fleet began to notice more and more small furry shapes darting into the light of his beacon. At first, the pilots were charmed to see these cotton tailed lagomorphs leaping in the ships beams. But before long, their number was unfathomable. The lagomorphs appeared to flee before the oncoming rush of the fleet but we all knew they were hiding in the darkness plotting dark secret evils for the fate of mankind.
We safely made it to a pleasure apparatus station and enjoyed excellent food and tea molecules. After refreshing our selves, the Admiral explained his plan to remind the lagomorphs who has dominion over this territory. He explained the fleet must fly in wall formation while holding warning flares aloft so that the lagomorphs would know that this territory is Protected. The fleet would complete this maneuver in a neighboring transport docking station.
How exactly to fly in a wall formation while holding flares aloft was a subject of much discussion and mild contention. The fleet did several practice runs before lighting the flares. While practice was underway, a confused transport attempted to join in the flight formation before eventually recovering it’s nav direction and continuing on into space.
Eventually, it was agreed that because the flares were so short fused, multiple flares must be lit at once and passed down the line. Much like Prometheus bringing fire to the first pilots at the dawn of time, the flames of the flares were passed down the ranks from both Starboard and Port sides. When the signal was given, all hands made a mad dash to burst into flight and stay in formation. After a brief rest, Snow suggested several chaffs be launched as well to ensure those dern lagos got the message. The chaffs lurched and careened into space with wildly unpredictable trajectories.
At this point, Excess had to burn up as he had to wake up early the next day to pass on the mystical art of the ParqOr to his faithful disciples. Snow was elected new navigator. Excess left the fleet in a blur of light and sound. The speed and glory of the Krampus in flight was a wonder to behold.
Snow led the fleet along the Mystic Valley Belt until we came to an observational space station. The pilots sprawled on the floor of the platform and observed the heavenly bodies. Everest, Johnny Five, Snow and Acehole commenced the cuddle puddle formation while several pilots tried their hand at astronomy. After a nice relaxing stay, the fleet resumed the traversing of the Mystic Asteroid Belt. On the way, the fleet was alarmed by the growing numbers of lagomorphs. They numbered into the hundreds. The fleet hoped that the lagomorphs were fleeing having seen the warning flares but they couldn’t be positive.
While traversing the Mystic Asteroid Belt, Beetle Juice took a sudden spill off Annihilation, which forced Wombat to make an emergency dismount off Moneypenny to avoid running over her. Fortunately, he caught himself with the dexterity of his namesake and did not wind up falling into the Mystic.
The fleet made a quick stop over to the Charlestown System for some grenades. Everest tried to engage Johnny Five in this native SCUL tradition but he refused. Something about robots not using recycled fuel.
The gang was about to call it a night when a Klingon emerged in the last light year and followed us back to base. She called herself KT and appears to be friendly.
A very sleepy crew weakly hazed babymaggot Johnny Five and he is now a crawling maggot.
The mission was a great success but it is currently unknown what insidious plans the lagomorphs may be hatching in their tiny brains for our starsystem.