Operation
Rat Pack
Sixteen pilots, including Cortana's guest Nijoom, set out from the fort on Deadblow's inaugural turn as mission leader with clear objectives: pull a heist on five dumpsters and check out some rats, all soundtracked by a Sinatra and Rat Pack heavy playlist. No rats, but that's cool, because there were some bunnies and some birds and stuff. We thought we saw a rat and everyone got excited, but then we went to investigate and it turned out to be a MILK CRATE LOL. We got some neat things from some dumpsters, including but not limited to a steel gangster cane, a functional subspace communication device, pizzzzzzzaaaaaaa, and a few baggodonuts. It was really hot and muggy so we ran through a bunch of sprinklers, which was SWEET. Cortana had a guest named Najoom and she was cool. Excess burned up pretty early, everyone else pulled through really well. DreadFlint flew Water BACKWARDS in TRAFFIC and for that he was awarded Medal of Strength because Tard said it was synonymous with Medal of Stupid. We laughed, we hugged, we danced. We ate stuff. We heisted things. We only managed to pull useful items out of four of the five dumpsters, and thus FAILED, GLORIOUSLY.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
BaneThunderwolf Bieber Fever 602.438   Commander
Cortana Pig Champion 581.779   Chief Petty Officer
Deadblow Honey Buzzard 569.836   Lieutenant Commander
dogi Mad Rabbit 343.527  
DrClaw Shockwave 776.011   Rear Admiral, Lower Half
DreadFlint Water 114.497  
excess Chutes & Ladders 385.495   Master Chief Petty Officer
Ganoderma Ez Raider 290.038   Petty Officer 3rd Class
Leotard Trinity 417.879   Ensign
najoom Greed 0   Recruit
Rocket Iridium 389.506   Petty Officer 1st Class
Sewer Fonzerelli 388.824   Ensign
Sidekick Yer Mom 565.425   Chief Petty Officer
Threespeed Schadenfreude 566.087   Rear Admiral, Lower Half
Wombat Cloudbuster 520.032   Commander
XXIII ReFLEX 521.997   Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock dogi
Chalk Bag Rocket
Cleaner Deadblow
Compressor Wrangler Threespeed
ComSat Monkey Threespeed
Damage Control Ganoderma
Deck Officer Sidekick
Deck Officer Asst. Cortana
Flat Bag Sidekick
Medi Bag Ganoderma
Minister of Zoobs DrClaw
Mission Leader Deadblow
Mission Pinner Ganoderma
Mission Reporter Sidekick
Navigator BaneThunderwolf
RadioBox A Wombat
Radiobox B Leotard
RadioBox C DrClaw
Recycler DrClaw
Stellar Cartographer Threespeed
Sticker Bag Sewer
Still Cam Rocket
Tailgunner XXIII
Tool Bag najoom
Wookiee Bag Cortana
Division: MAD
Date: 07/11/2015
Status: Failure 
Origin: Fort Tyler
Destination: Dumpstah
Light Years: 22.666
G-Well Activity: 1.86
Technical Rating: 1.693