Operation
Mind Trip
Turn on. Tune in. Drop out.

Tonight we opened our third eyes and traveled the mindway to another level of consciousness.

14 pilots, 4 maggots, and one spy departed the Somerville System in search of three locations to achieve increased elevation with much success, KAPLAH! Three Speed got "high" by Z Axis augmentation and was almost denied descent due to the mysterious detonation of a series of radiation mines. He escaped relatively unscathed. Star Hustler suffered minor damage to the aft sensor array after an unfortunate incident where Epoxy's knee became temporarily attached to the helm. Zenith was awarded a medal of injury for abandoning ship in front of a sandworm.

*Guest reporter Boyle along for the ride doing a piece for Vice/Motherboard.
*Every time we stop, pilots get as "high" as possible
*Lechmere Canal Park, North Point Park, the Charlestown bandsaw, Seven Hills Park
*Wombat and Red Squirrel put the ATM back in ATM Machine
*Mongoose knighted after spinning several tree-related tall tales
*Acehole awarded Medal of Chic for his excessively tacky and trippy 70's-era polyester shirt.



With aplogies to Hunter S. Thompson:

Skunk was in the bathtub when I returned. Submerged in green water -- the oily product of some Japanese bath salts he'd picked up in the hotel gift shop, along with a new AM/FM radio plugged into the electric razor socket. Top volume. Some gibberish by a thing called "Three Dog Night," about a frog named Jeremiah who wanted "Joy to the World."

"Music!" he snarled. "Turn it up. Put that tape on."

"What tape?"

"The new one. It's right there."

I picked up the radio and noticed that it was also a tape recorder -- one of those things with a cassette-unit built in. And the tape, Surrealistic Pillow, needed only to be flipped over. He had already gone through side one -- at a volume that must have been audible in every room within a radius of one hundred yards, walls and all.

"'White Rabbit,'" he said. "I want a rising sound."

"You're doomed," I said. "I'm leaving here in two hours and then they're going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in the tub."

"I dig my own graves," he said. "Green water and the White Rabbit ... put it on; don't make me use this." His arm lashed out of the water, the hunting knife gripped in his fist.

..."OK," I said, turning the tape over and pushing the "play" button.

..."Let it roll!" he screamed. "Just as high as the fucker can go! And when it comes to that fantastic note where the rabbit bites its own head off, I want you to throw that effing radio into the tub with me." ...."Just tell them I wanted to get Higher!" ...

I thought for a moment. "Okay," I said finally. "You're right. This is probably the only solution." I picked up the tape/radio -- which was still plugged in -- and held it over the tub. "Just let me make sure I have it all lined up," I said. "You want me to throw this thing into the tub when 'White Rabbit' peaks -- is that it?"

"Are you ready?" I hit the "play" button and "White Rabbit" started building again. Almost immediately he began to howl and moan ... another fast run up that mountain, and thinking, this time, that he would finally get over the top. His eyes were gripped shut and only his head and both kneecaps poked up through the oily green water.

I let the song build while I sorted through the pile of fat ripe grapefruit next to the basin. The biggest one of the lot weighed almost two pounds. I got a good Vida Blue fastball grip on the fucker -- and just as "White Rabbit" peaked I lashed it into the tub like a cannonball.
Pilot Ship Points Promotion
AceHole Temerity 370.962  
BaneThunderwolf Bieber Fever 857.936  
Cortana Dr. Love 0  
Dead Bride Star Hustler (Bombardier) 0  
dogi Rhinoceros 312.363  
DreadFlint Chrome Pony 243.865  
Epoxy Star Hustler 327.846  
excess Civilianship 39.1924   Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Fleet Admiral Skunk Cloudbuster 670.472  
Mongoose Chastity 354.386   Aviator
Red Squirrel Spooky Pirate 825.101   Commodore
Snow Ez Raider 352.56   Aviator First Class
Sprocket Chrome Pony (Bombardier) 239.492  
Stogie Chubz 438.28   Lieutenant, Junior Grade
Threespeed Schadenfreude 204.011  
Treekiller Greed 434.772   Petty Officer 2nd Class
Wombat ATM Machine 400.557   Captain
Zenith Mad Rabbit 0  
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock Epoxy
Chalk Bag Cortana
Cleaner Red Squirrel
Compressor Wrangler Fleet Admiral Skunk
ComSat Monkey Snow
Damage Control AceHole
Deck Officer BaneThunderwolf
Deck Officer Asst. BaneThunderwolf
Flat Bag Mongoose
Food Wrangler Snow
Medi Bag AceHole
Minister of Zoobs Wombat
Mission Leader Fleet Admiral Skunk
Mission Reporter Red Squirrel
Navigator BaneThunderwolf
Print Jockey BaneThunderwolf
RadioBox A AceHole
Recycler AceHole
Sticker Bag Zenith
Still Cam Stogie
Tailgunner Treekiller
Tool Bag Dead Bride
Wookiee Bag Epoxy
Division: MAD
Date: 08/09/2014
Status: Success 
Origin: Fort Tyler
Destination: Getting "high"
Light Years: 17.4299
G-Well Activity: 1.1842
Technical Rating: 3.1484