Operation
SCULimpics Night Games
Four, (count 'em.. FOUR) maggots (two of the BabyMaggot persuasion)
joined us on our multiple-objective mission this Saturnight. We had
patrolling to do. We had a distress call to answer. We had cups to
crush, hi-fives to disseminate, and funk to bust. And on top of all
that, we had a SCULimpics to hastily throw together at the last
minute. What would be the outcome? Would we survive... would we
complete our tasks? Or succumb to humiliating failure?


Y.T. took up the challenge to navigate the fleet, and away we went on
a fun and meandering path through our home systems. Major
constellations patrolled? Check. Cups and hi-fives? Check. And then
our trusty navigator, sensing the fleet's high morale, challenged us
even further by attempting an unheard of quadruple-tunnel pass. (Okay,
it was actually two separate double-passes, but still friggin
awesome.) Sonic disruptors deployed? Check. Woots and woohoos shouted?
Check.


After a bit more patrolling, we arrived at the distress call and
immediately took to the task at hand, ridding the premesis of
molecules in order to facilitate the space station's evacuation. Quick
work was done to complete this mission objective, and the space
station inhabitants were gracious and welcoming.


So far we were right on schedule. A brief landing at Luna 7-11 gave
the funk-busting opportunity. And did we answer? Was the Funk busted?
Oh yeah. And the food joined in, because no one can resist the tractor
beam of the mighty Disco DeathStar. Especially when It's Raining Men.


The fleet was on a roll now. Mission objectives ticked off one by
one.. but the final objective loomed. As time was running out, would
we be able to pull it off? Would SCULimpics actually happen, or was
Pecan just schlepping Santa around as nothing more than a gigantic
lit-up figurehead?


After a quick fly-by of Snarly and Slug's fort, with a
surprise appearance of the Snarlac himself (hooray, Snarly and Slug,
we miss you!) and then a FruitBat sighting from a passing transport,
we turned toward the outer reaches of the Cambridge system to find our
secret SCULimpics location. But have no fear, this determined fleet of
sculpilots did not know the word failure this Saturnight. SCULimpics
was had, and SCULimpics was Good. And the surprises continued as we
randomly encountered Deathtrap and Axeman on their nearby patrols, and
they proved victorious in their SCULimpics exploits.


Upon viewing the awesomeness of hastily-thrown-together-SCULimpics,
even the STs could not dream of putting it to a stop. (Though he did
just ask us to turn it down, a little..)


Mission successful! All objectives completed! No one burned up on
reentry! The fleet returned late to Fort Joy, tired but satisfied, and
morale high.


Thanks to Pecan, Joyride, Bucky, and maggot Stogie who led the
SCULimpics events. Official results as follows:


Kickin' Claus - run by Pecan

Gold - Wombat

Silver - Axeman

Bronze - Hackworth


Shoot the Moon - run by Joyride

Gold - Threespeed

Silver - Bucky

Bronze - Hackworth


Slow Ride - run by Stogie

Gold: Joyride

Silver: Axeman

Bronze: Deathtrap


Cup Crush Melee - run by Buckminister

Gold - MegaSeth

Silver - Wombat

Bronze - Medico

Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Buckminister Immaculate Taco 451.575  
Fleet Admiral Skunk Cloudbuster 1054.84  
hackworth Synesthesia 952.663  
Joyride Saturday Night Special 205.441  
Medico D.B. Cooper 0  
MegaSeth NightFever 543.221   Commander
pecan Civilianship 95.79   Petty Officer 2nd Class
Resonator Yer Mom 342.95   Chief Petty Officer
Stogie Delirium 0   Recruit
Threespeed Schadenfreude 792.46   Admiral, Fleet Ready
Treekiller chlorophyll 330.336  
vomit Famine 665.337   Rear Admiral, Lower Half
Wombat Annihilation 0  
yt SecretAsianSCULly 761.436  
ZyGoat One Night Stand 0   Recruit
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock Fleet Admiral Skunk
Chalk Bag Joyride
ComSat Monkey Buckminister
Damage Control Resonator
Deck Officer hackworth
Filmer hackworth
Flat Bag ZyGoat
Medi Bag Medico
Mission Leader Fleet Admiral Skunk
Mission Reporter vomit
MRC Officer Fleet Admiral Skunk
Navigator yt
Print Jockey vomit
Skynet Operator (post-mission) Threespeed
Skynet Operator (pre-mission) MegaSeth
Sticker Bag pecan
Still Cam Stogie
Tailgunner vomit
Tool Bag MegaSeth
Wookiee Bag Wombat
Division: MAD
Date: 09/18/2010
Status: Success 
Origin: Fort Joy
Destination: Glory and medals
Light Years: 20.68
G-Well Activity: 2.193
Technical Rating: 2.237