Operation
Articular Matters
Somerville: puttim' the "Aaaah!" in aaaht since earth year 1999. We
patrolled the local starsystem hanging our brains on the handiwork
of
the cleverer hu-mans amidst the food. Objects! Concepts!
Abstractions!
This is what passes for creativity on the planet -- and our
scientists
believe it explains a lot. Folks we ran into included Ktron, Ehawk,
and Rubbish exhibiting their wares, an actual
stormtrooper, a fellow making a pictographic book on earth-bicycles
whose mind exploded upon seeing our highly advanced experimental
space
ships, a maggot who thrice decided to show up well after the call
to
saddle-up, and a transport full of fart boys who cut us off and
honked
aggressively for a good twenty second before deciding to ram USB
Skylab in the rear thruster at the oddly slow speed of 1.5 light-
years
per hour. After a brief shouting match where we pointed out that
they
just committed an earth-crime, we chose to move on. Ten minutes
later,
the local constabulary pulled up with the transport driver in tow.
We
declined to pursue the matter, assuming if we set him free he'll
just
end up winning a Darwin award much to no one's loss. Excellent
flight
formations and top-notch in-flight communications reflected well on
the pilots in the mission. And our Fleet Admiral successfully
converted some of his finer robots into many earth-credits.





Unofficial Mission to Magneato's Flavor Trip Party involved
significantly more high-powered steering dampener molecules than day
mission. Navigation
to the Brighton System took us through very deep space, where our
optical disruptors were the only source of light, and directional
markers minimal. Emerging victoriously, Retard Squad arrived at a
three-alarm
distress call, and promptly bartered with food's secret
to
distorting sweetness receptors in exchange for posing with our
sweet
ships and rad pilots.Why does this lime taste so damn good? And the
chocolate so crap? Om nom nom.Pink photons powered by pedaling
prodigiously, while pumping ptunes played. STs arrived in a
successful effort to neutralize the distress call.



Note: beware of putting too
much steering dampener fluid into a bio-system, this may result in
a highly noxious reflux reaction and generally threaten return to
base capabilities. If this should happen to you, brave pilot, be
prepared to
relieve yourself, and relieve yourself of duty until such time as
your horizon indicators level out.



Return to base was marked by a minor wardrobe malfunction when Q's
attempt to ride 42W Delirium with an unfurled pants-cuff caught the
drive chain and the attention of the third pair of STs that
stardate. All ships and pilots were eventually redistributed to
their respective stations & forts.

Pilot Ship Points Promotion
Brick Ez Raider 0  
hackworth Summer 1298.3   Vice Admiral
Pretzel Dustin Time 571.5   Master Chief Petty Officer
pywaket Skylab 308.447  
Q Delirium 834.845   Commodore
Treekiller Dr. Love 404.855   Lieutenant Commander
vesper War 334.319   Petty Officer 2nd Class
Mission Task Pilot
Airlock Q
Damage Control hackworth
Deck Officer Pretzel
Deck Officer Asst. hackworth
Filmer hackworth
Flat Bag Brick
Medi Bag hackworth
Mission Leader Q
Mission Reporter Q
MRC Officer Leotard
Navigator Q
RadioBox A hackworth
Skynet Operator (post-mission) Q
Sticker Bag vesper
Still Cam Treekiller
Tailgunner Pretzel
Tool Bag Treekiller
Wookiee Bag hackworth
Division: MAD
Date: 05/01/2010
Status: Success 
Origin: Fort Bartlett
Destination: Aaaht
Light Years: 7.3
G-Well Activity: 3.7
Technical Rating: 3.4